Bullied for 6 years part 2

At age 11 I went to my boarding secondary school, exited by the prospect to start over again to make new friends and board for the first time. When I arrived there I was put in a room with all the other girls who were boarding, there were only 7 of us at that time. I was quick to make friends with a girl ,I will call her Ariana. She was a domineering character which suited my quiet personality, but it really wasn’t that long until things went awry. I began talking to another girl in my year Natalie whom Ariana hated, and she began to accuse me of backstabbing her. I was horrified and stopped talking to Natalie because Ariana was my only really close friend at the time. However later on that term I discovered what she truly thought of me. It was the middle of the night and I guess she thought I was asleep because she was talking with another girl in my room about me and she said ” she’s just so annoying all the time like I wish sometimes she would just fuck off” which was not something I wanted to hear from someone who i thought was really close to me, especially since she had accused me of betraying her. We gradually grew apart until we were no longer friends after that evening and perhaps I was clingy then but she was my only friend and I didn’t deserve how she treated me after that.In the third term of year 7 I was really very close to these two girls called Katie and eva. I for a long time thought they were my best friends, we did everything together, but again I was wrong. One day I had left the room for a shower and when I came back I stumbled onto a conversation where they were both telling each other that they were their only best friends and talking about how close they were not even mentioning me. I was crushed, again our friendship  never recovered and to make matters worse they made a point of not hanging out with me and on the rare occasions I would sit with them at lunch or walk with them down a path they would continuously tell me to get out of the picture and ask why I was talking to them. It was like someone had hit me in the face. Later on in that third term, the first incident with Ariana occurred, she had become friends with a girl in our year (Roseanne)who was particularly rude and overaggressive and I think this wore on her and that she thought that the behaviour was cool. I was sitting in the living room with a girl called Lynda and Eva we were practising a group project when Ariana came in and asked Lynda to come with her somewhere. Me and Eva sat in the room for around ten minutes before we thought we should go out and see what was happening. When we walked outside we saw Ariana and the Roseanne holding a bedroom door shut, and from the other side we heard Lynda pleading to be let outside. Me and eva asked them both what was going on and they said that it was just the pet dog. So playing along with their game we asked if we could see the pet dog and they opened the door, at first we couldn’t see Lynda so we walked into the room and suddenly we were locked in too. I don’t remember how long we were stuck in there but eventually they let us out. They found the panic that they put Lynda through very amusing and made no effort to mask it.This was the first of many incidents to happen in the next year.

Year 8 rolled around and it was then that I learned from other people that Ariana and me were enemies and hated each other, something that i wasn’t even aware of. One day I was in the day room during the winter term by myself, when Ariana walked in. I wanted to leave the room but I froze and she took full advantage of that. I don’t remover exactly what she said but it was very threatening and then she stepped forwards and pushed me full force. I flew backwards crashing into a set of bins and hitting my head on a sharp edge of a sofa. She just stood over me laughing. I was more shaken than I was hurt, and now terrified of her. The next week this same incident occurred again although fortunately I was standing in an empty space so it was only my back that was hurt on this occasion not my head. Again there was no one there to witness it and I was too afraid of her to report the behaviour. There were many more incidents where she pushed my with all her force that happened throughout the rest of that term and so I was constantly living in fear of her running from her in the hallways and staying away. The next term I had my birthday. On my birthday everyone was in the locker rooms getting changed ready for P.E and it so happens that her locker was next to mine, she pulled me round behind the lockers and stupidly I followed her thinking that she was going to reconcile or just be civil and wish me a happy birthday. She leans against the locker and says ” I have a present for you” and then pulled her middle finger out and told me to go fuck myself and shoved me back but not so hard this time. I was of course annoyed that I had believed she might try to be nice but It just made me more terrified to be anywhere near her. Over the rest of the year she would always talk about me very loudly to her friends when I was in the room and would constantly call me a bitch, pushing me or trying to trip me over in the hallways. She would make fun of me and tell me how pathetic I was. She would pretend to be nice to me in front of other people than be threatening to me in private. On the rare occasions we might have to work together in class or on a project I would be terrified to even talk scared to death how she would act around me what she would say.

Ariana made my first two years at school a living hell between the ages of 11-13 I lived in fear, running away from her, hiding from her if I saw her on the hall, staying away from her at all costs. I was afraid to speak out against her but I was afraid not to so I never said anything. Those two years taught me that No matter how scared you are you shouldn’t have to put up with people treating you badly, emotionally and physically abusing you or making you feel worthless. You should always tell someone what is going on no matter what, it is better to do something than nothing.

The last part of my bullying story will be up tomorrow this will be the last part and the final two years.

Quizzicalnonsenseoxox

 

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Bullied for 6 years part one

I wanted to share something that is relatively personal to me, but something that has been a big part of my life. More than anything I want to prove to myself that I’m not afraid to talk about it but to show that some of the worst bullying doesn’t have to be physical. That sticks and stones saying was wrong words can hurt and sometimes they can hurt just was much as a kick or a punch.

I first began to get bullied at age nine. This girl ( lets call her Hester)who I used to be friends with began very subtly staring at me intensely when I walked into a room or  excluding me from things that all my friends were doing. I thought that this would be the end that it was just a blip in the road of our so far good friendship  but how wrong I was. It continually got worse after I turned ten. She would often run past me in the hallways and punch me really hard in the side, or take things of mine and try and frame other people. She would begin to tell me all the time how much her family hated me( i had met them when we were friends) and would return gifts to me that I had got her when we were friends, she would simply put them in my rucksack at school without warning. To make matters worse she spun a different tale to all the other people  in my year, crying crocodile tears telling everyone I was leaving her out and that she felt very alone. This prompted people to accuse me of being a bully and telling me I should apologise to her. The only people that really knew the truth were my real friends who didn’t buy her crocodile tears. It got even worse when we reached year 6 and I turned eleven. She would being to stand a bit away from me pointing at me and whispering about me to other people and then come up and tell me they were talking about something else. She would tell me that we were great friends and then talk about me behind my back spreading malicious rumours. She began to hit me more often when she passed me down the street. However the worse was yet to come. All of our year group went away for a weekend to an activities park called PGL. Whilst we were there me her and two other of my friends were put in a room. In groups we had to play this scavenger hunt game, and one of the things we needed as a group was in our room but Hester was in a different team and had the key. So our group went over to her and asked for the key and at first she refused to give us the key, finally we wore her down and she became irritated. She unstrapped the key from her leg and flung it towards me. If it had not have been for one of my friends having good reflexes and catching the key quickly it would have gone into my neck and potentially hit a vein in my neck and caused me serious injury. To make matters worse once more she began to cry and one of the teachers came to our group and began asking what we had done wrong, when I tried to tell her about the key that had almost injured me she interrupted me and told me to stop being selfish, stop thinking of only myself and tell her what I had done to upset Hester. Of course I was outraged and didn’t give her any legitimate reasons for Hester being upset refusing to pretend like I had made her upset when I hadn’t.

Needless to say we didn’t speak again and we have not had any contact with each other since. I have forgiven her and moved on especially since we were so young when it happened and I will not hold it against her, however I will never forget how much pain it caused me and how upset I was during the two year span that it occurred. It taught me a valuable lesson though, not everyone in the world was has good intentions and not everyone has good heart.

I will post part two of my bullying story tomorrow. If i put all 6 years in one post it would be too long to read and to write. But I hope you have found the story interesting so far.

Quizzicalnonsenseoxox