Stresssssss………. floundering fish

Stress seems to be the only word i can think of at the moment. I have come through a patch in which I have had so much to do i can barely think for myself let alone keep myself balanced and have a healthy lifestyle. Help because i feel like like a flounder floundering in the sea, its crazy. On the bright side though i have had a little bit more time to focus on writing, mainly writing songs and music because its fun. I going to be brave therefore and share a little bit of something that i have written so here goes:
” ooh why cant you love me,
why do you break my heart
three words you’ll never say
to me.”

and a chorus snippet
” and it feels like i’m free falling at 100 miles per hour
and nothings gonna slow me down”

i feel like i’m being crazy sharing this and now i feel very self conscious but please comment what you think of them or not thats up to you.
so in theory stress is both good and bad because it is difficult but it compels you to do better and strive to achieve what you want, and often the result that you can achieve are more pleasing than you want. i hope that the next blog posts will be better than this so I’m sorry that the stress hasn’t really helped with this. tomorrow i hope to write a blog post on achievement because I wish to share my opinion with you.


orange is the colour of today and i can already see the people on my street putting out pumpkins afraid for their lives if they don’t, afraid they might be egged my annoyingly loud children in ridiculous costumes. I’m sorry i just really needed to get that one out of my system, venting your anger to people on the internet often helps i find, well for me anyway maybe not you. I created my own private blog today on google blogger to stop things like me venting my anger to you lovely people, clearly i need to re think that concept as i can see that it hasn’t worked at all in my favour.
Recently i started watching this show called awkward, i don’t know if you have heard of it or not but it is just a typical show about a girl in high school exploring herself and whilst when i watched the first episode i thought that it was quite funny, after watching about twelve over the past week i have come to the conclusion that all the episodes are very similar and boring and to be honest i don’t want to waste my precious time with something that will only bore me to death more than i already am at the moment. I don’t know if that is the same with all american t.v shows, please don’t get me wrong i am not saying that it is but i just wonder, since i don’t generally watch a lot of t.v, i am not so into it as one might say. The only thing i do watch avidly though is the apprentice. So before i get off topic and start warbling i need to finish what i was going to say ,which i have totally and utterly forgotten. No worries i don’t think that it was of much importance anyway.
I feel like i haven’t really got a topic for this blog today, it is more like a spontaneous piece of writing where i put down everything that comes into my head. I know that is a bit hectic and unorganised but my life is like that and i can imagine that no one can keep to the same schedule all the time( only saying this so that i don’t feel as along in that train of thought).
Now before i bore you to death like my self i will end this post as i think that it isn’t going anywhere and i cant broaden on the specific topic seeing as there is none. So thanks to anyone who read this and i sincerely hope it wash’t that bad. If it was then i do apologise and promise that i will try not to spontaneously blog anything and everything that comes to my head again.



I know halloween isn’t really that big of an occasion however i still find myself getting exited about it, not the trick or treating part i can’t stand that but the concept of it. The awesome costumes that you get to wear, and sort of being a young child again,or the parties that you throw for you and your friends which takes hours to plan but always turn out to be really fun. But most importantly scaring yourself to death watching halloween movies that blow your mind. I recently watched the movie Halloween which i didn’t find all that bad, however the tension in it due to the music was commendable.At least i thought it wasn’t to bad until the final 15 minutes in which i found myself clinging the arm of my sofa like a child hoping that it might protect me from the horror which was Michael myers. Despite that i still felt dumbfounded that he could bend the laws of physics by being stabbed three or four times, shot 6, fall off an outside balcony and survive for many more sequels. The whole point in halloween is to be scared and horror movies certainly do the trick. I find it more funny that people might be terrified for the their whilst watching a horror film and many more days after yet still want to watch more, i find myself funny in that way as well. Generally when it comes to horror films i find that the sequels are never as good as the first film so i can not bring my self to understand why they(the film industry) would want to bring out hundreds and hundreds of sequels and spin off’s, its like they almost couldn’t think of anything better to do. However despite my criticism of this i think you will find that i am an avid horror film fanatic as i do always-its tradition- watch one or to on halloween to raise the spirits until christmas.
On Halloween i always try and i hide myself from the trick or treaters that come to the house as i can actually never be bothered to buy candy just to hand it out to little children. I know that sounds really mean so i think i will just take that back. Moving forward,i was told a while back by my friend that people don’t come to your house if you don’t leave a pumpkin outside so the next year i did what she told me. Guess what, they still came it seems people in my area don’t care about the pumpkins they want the candy and disturbing someones horror film filled evening by ringing the doorbell is their aim to do so. So in conclusion i really am exited about halloween this year and i do actually like it except for the whole trick or treating nuisance but that well that is just my opinion


The theme in question today is about heartbreak and how difficult love can be i think that these quotes surmise heartbreak although they are quite opposing:
‘If you don’t fight for what you want, don’t cry for what you lost’
‘Sometimes you have to give up on people. Not because you don’t care, but because they don’t anymore.’
Recently I came to terms with what actual heartbreak is and I fully realised how difficult is. Its not a nice place and despite going through tubs of ice cream and listening to hate songs it was still hard and then trying to go back to those memories is still painful for me now.
In the first quote in my opinion is saying that if you give up on love too easily there is no point crying over it as it wasn’t properly there in the first place. I think that it means that unless you prove your love to someone then you haven’t fought for what you wanted crying over it is pointless as you didn’t truly get to express how you felt for a person and therefore how were they able to know how you felt.
In the second quote i believe that it is saying that you can’t force love because you can’t chose who you love. Trying to force love will more likely than not force the person away from you. You shouldn’t give up them because you don’t care but because they don’t really care for you, and them caring for you isn’t really a reality. sometimes you can convince yourself of something that isn’t really there and it is worse when you come to that realisation so thats what the quote is saying. Don’t make it hard on yourself, if a person doesn’t honestly care for you, give up on them to stop the heartbreak being greater.
i know that i haven’t really shared anything personal with you but i feel like i have because describing that second quote was like describing the heartbreaking experience i had, and i think it was important that i said something about it but re living the memory really was painful. So before i give you my life story i want to say thanks to all of you who have read this and also to stay true to yourself because all of you deserve love


Existential Crisis

I know i am not exactly suffering from an existential crisis but i am suffering from complete boredom. Whilst days off are few and far between i find myself becoming increasingly bored when i am stuck at home with nothing but the fruit to keep me company. Believe me i have tried everything, however after endless hours of agatha Christie and CI my brain has been ground into a bunch of deformed coffee beans. It was at this point, after my hundredth green tea that i realised that work and school weren’t actually that bad, at least then you feel as though you have something important to do.
No don’t get me wrong i myself am a serious procrastinator and dream of a full year of holidays so this discovery was in fact surprising to myself. I do love the holidays so believe me when i say holidays and vacations are still very much needed in a persons life however saying that work is not important and that you wish that life was one big party is totally and utterly WRONG. just joking don’t worry. Honestly though can you believe how boring life would be if all you ever did was stay at home and watch t.v and then go to parties all the time, eventually the parties are going to become so boring that you will want to hibernate with the animals.
Anyway back to the point today has been a serious mindfuck for me and i think that rather than sharing my boredom with all of you thus making your days more boring also i will look for inspiration in the one valid source that i know will prevail all else. MIRRANDA. So i wish all of you people a very happy day and i am sorry that i haven’t been on this in ages. I’ve been going through a serious cave man fase and now that i have returned to the land of the living i realise what i have been missing out on.
See ya


Long time no see

I realised today that i hadn’t been on WordPress in over a week, i have just been so busy clearing things and all sorts. I find that generally when you need a break that is when you are the busiest i dunno that was just me trying to be clever and you know failing !! ANyway The other day i was thinking about how we have the capacity to become bored easily which is why little children always have to occupied. Think about it how would you fare a whole day sitting down with nothing to do , no one to talk to and in a room that was completely empty. I think that this is probably one of the reasons that we are a technologically advanced species, the most out of all other living animals. Of course i don’t think that that is the only reason but i think that is one of the reasons for the amount of technology we have. Boredom is very easy for us Humans even thought sometimes we can be the most lazy. Yeaaaay. I fall into the boredom trap a lot where i just sit there and think what can i do and even when i have thought of something viable i cant seem to find it interesting enough. Anyway i should probably apologies because i you know i had run out of subjects to talk about i don’t think that this has really come out the way i wanted but as the motto i live by its better to try and fail than not to try at all which i believe is very true.

Pet peeves

Before I discuss what intend to discuss, have they updated this website because the layout seems to be different. Anyway on to other topics I am sure it wouldn’t be interesting to read about what i thought was different so yeah. I thought that i might look at Pet Peeves, only because i have quite a few and i know that there are a few universal ones and it can be seriously annoying. some of my pet peeves include, people clicking their fingers, biting there fingernails,going through a red light, and people who read out loud what they are writing in an email etc. For me the worst is when people click their fingers because it makes the most horrible sound, i cant stand the noise that it made. Also the concept that the person is almost moving their bones in their fingers for no apparent reason sort of makes me feel strange It isn’t a nice concept moving bones. Secondly people who bite their finger nails, a) i find that it really doesn’t look very nice, and b) surely it isn’t good for the actual fingernail doesn’t it ruin how they grow or something. thirdly when people go on a red light it just annoys me ,i mean if they are colour blind thats one thing but if they have good eyesight can they not see that it is a red light and they are not allowed to bleeding drive it just puts them in danger of a car accident. Finally i don’t like when people read out what they are typing i just feel that it is unnecessary and i just don’t see why you would feel the need to share your conversation. So that is really all, i don’t know what your guys are but if you feel like telling me please just comment to this blog and i will enjoy finding out what you don’t like.

Across The Universe

Today I decided to set myself the task of watching Le Voyage A Biarritz, an black and white movie in french without the subtitles. My french really isn’t very good, so having got through half of it i still had absolutely no clue what was going on. I realised after finishing the film that it wasn’t that my french was bad, it was just I didn’t/don’t have enough knowledge of conversational french. In schools we are constantly taught how to conjugate Verbs in all the different tenses under the sun, given sentences to use for the specification in exams. Whilst this is all extremely useful if you then decided to go to france it would be extraordinarily difficult to strike up a conversation with a french person in the same way as that of an english person. You simply wouldn’t have enough knowledge on conversational french to keep up with what the person was saying. I am not trying to imply that this happens to everyone, of course there are some people who are exceptionally good at languages but for someone who was learning french and wanted to spend some time in france, it would’t be as easy as hoped. Also having thought about it i came to the conclusion that most foreign students seem to be better at picking up english or speaking it than we would ever be. I realised that this was because for them english is one of the main languages in the world and it opens up opportunities in life that wouldn’t be possible if they weren’t able to speak english. However because it is our native language do not need to learn it and so for us learning a language such as french is not treated as importantly. So therefore to us or me anyway being able to speak french  fluently as a goal appears to be across the universe and almost out of reach.

Monday Monday

Its Monday……….. because everyone loves monday. Anyway I haven”t really had a good run today, my brain hasn’t been functioning properly so i have run out of things to say or think you know. Today i heard an inspiring quote so whilst I don’t have lots to say I’ll share it.     The only way of finding the limits of the possible is by going beyond them into the impossible- Arthur C.Clarke. I think it is saying that you must reach the impossible before you know where the limits in your life lie, not just that It is saying that nothing is beyond you, nothing is impossible. If you have a dream to do something you keep trying and trying until you reach your ultimate goal and only then will you know that there were no limits of possibility, there were only limits in the impossible. You wont know until you try and that only by achieving the impossible do we fully grasp what is possible in our life. It is the most important thing to have goals and then going above and beyond the goals in life is what will truly show us who we are and what we are capable of !!

sorry about how short this is but i have just been so tired and apparently stringing a sentence together in my own language is an impossible task so i promise that i will try and make my next few posts a lot better

Sunday night

So its late in the evening but i sort of forgot about doing my blog and now only have a while to do it before my internet shuts off!! arrg why does that have to happen. Anyways Sundays are never really very exciting i find, there isnt much to say about them so i thought i might take the time instead to say thank you to the people who are liking my posts and following me because it means alot that some people have taken the time to read mainly my nonsense. so THANKYOU to everyone. Namely : poems and people, a worried student, intistar, Yarnspinner, oceanna56, igamemom, Humanity777, christian Mihai, lauraagudelo272, dr heather, Jakewilson, doodles invigorate, ksfinblog, and arriacross. Who have all either liked or followed my blog. If i have forgotten to mention anyone please comment below and i will put something in my next post about you. I will then have live with the fact that my memory is slowly going and will feel terrible that i didnt mention you. By the way i love all of your blogs and if i am not following you please comment and tell me because then i will, and also feel much much worse.