warning this contains spoilers
I have just finished the season four of orange is the new black and I don’t think i have ever been so deeply affected by any series or movie before. It has shocked me to the core and I’m divested. I can’t get over the death of my favourite character Poussey and I am absolutely beside myself that she is dead. I can’t process it. I know that she is just a character on a television series but I feel like i have followed her plight, got to know her season by season, and learnt to love her as a friend, at is gut wrenching that she has now gone. It really is like loosing a friend to me. I rooted so deeply for the budding romance between her and soso and was so happy that she found someone who finally understood her and made her happy. I identify greatly with the character of soso and feel so badly her pain in the death of Poussey as well. Poussey was really all she had in the prison that kept her going that made her truly happy, and she began to love her and its simply devastating that that has gone from beneath her and I can’t see her character coping well with her death. It hurt me more that Poussey was just left on the cold cafeteria floor, dead. She was a human being and she was treated with so little respect by the people in power, she was essentially de humanised. The prison guards cared so much about humanising bayley that they did it at poussey’s expense, leaving her de humanised. I felt so helpless watching her dead body lying there and because she was on a screen, because she was simply a character, not being allowed to do anything, having no power to help. I must have cried for a solid hour after i finished watching, I felt so much pain and anguish for the death, and even now I feel numbed by it, unable to shed a single tear even though I want to. I am mourning the death of a t.v character who’s plight symbolised so much to me who had so much hope ahead of her and had for sure a bright future. I sympathise with the devastation her death has left behind and mourn the pain of poor soso who I see a lot of myself in, and there is nothing I can do to bring back poussesys character she is gone for good, and this knowing that she wasn’t even real and there is still nothing i can do makes it so much worse. This death is something that will take time for me to process, take time for me to mourn, and take time for me to heal from. I don’t think I will ever be able to get over her death but at least I can heal the pain I feel for a character I loved for a character I wanted so desperately to succeed in life, for a character who showed me that there is hope for everyone and who’s plight showed me that you will have good times and bad times and yet you will still carry on, for a person that I will greatly miss now they are gone.