The Bully, Bullied and the bystander

For a long time in my life I was bullied, so when I ended up befriending a bully I finally got the chance to do something right and to try and help those who reminded me of me. When I changed schools one of the first people to talk to me was a girl named for the sake of this I will call her Lulu. Lulu was kind and made an effort to make me feel integrated into the school, to make me feel like i belonged. She had 2 other friends called Myra and Anna. For two weeks all was well until I started to notice some strange behaviour on her part. When discussing Anna’s dad ( who unfortunately and very sadly died when she was at a young age) Lulu felt it was acceptable to say that it didn’t matter, no one cared he had died and that everyone should just talk about her. Of course I was concerned at this point and went to Anna and apologised for what had happened. Little did I know this was merely the beginning. A few weeks went by without a single hint of anything wrong until one day suddenly Lulu began to spread a rumour about Anna. Of course Anna was very upset about this and didn’t want to confront Lulu( she never did but Lulu tried to attack her running after her into the streets) however Lulu claimed that Anna had tried to push her into the road and called her racist names ( which she hadn’t and i pointed this out to her so it was never brought to the attention of the teachers) I told Lulu to apologise for the unnecessary behaviour but I don’t believe she ever did. It still got worse, one day Lulu and Anna got left behind in P.E and Lulu claimed it was all Anna’s fault. The Next day when Anna retold the story saying how Lulu had blamed it on her Lulu told her to ” shut up or I will kill you” of course i was quick to interject and make her apologise saying that her reaction was completely over the top and disgusting, and of course she was quick to say she was joking. However i left the room for a while and when I came back Anna looked terrified she came over to me and whispered ” Lulu just scratched me and said that she wasn’t afraid of me or afraid to hurt me” I confronted Lulu once more about this but she denied it, I made her apologise once more and told her if another problem arose we would no longer be talking to her.  A long time passed before the final incident, Lulu trying to keep to her best behaviour. But it all went wrong. We were at school playing a game of basket ball when Anna who was tired sat down ( she has dizziness issue). Lulu then angrily and very roughly grabbed her arm and flung her up. I ran over to see if she was ok and Anna then began screaming at Lulu in russian she had finally had enough. Lulu responded by hitting her and pushing her over, we had to break it up and a teacher was notified. The worst was still to come. The next day whilst I was in choir an incident occurred in which Lulu attacked Anna pulling her hair pushing her down the stairs and scratching her ( scars are left ).Lulu was then suspended

Now throughout this whole period i had wanted to notify the teachers but with Anna begging me not to I felt forced to put her best interests at heart believing that I could help her. I was careful to be there as much as I possibly could and spoke up for her once the final incident occurred. I cut all ties with Lulu telling her exactly why we weren’t friends and making sure she understood we never would be. I tried my hardest to stop Lulu and protect Anna through out the whole situation without forcing Anna into a position she begged me not to be in. I refused to be a bystander who just watched one of her friends get physically bullied. I now don’t understand why people who watch others get bullied can’t tell the bully to stop like  I did, or protect look after the bullied like I did. Just being there for someone who needs you showing them they have a friend and making them feel like everything will be ok is enough and I don’t understand why others in my position might not do the same as I did. You have to remember its ok to be the bystander that looks after your friend and tries to prevent the situation and sticks by the bullied through thick and thin, it is not acceptable to be the bystander who does nothing, watches everything, joins in with the bully and doesn’t tell  the bully they are wrong. Sometimes your obligated not to tell an authority but that doesn’t mean you can’t do something to make another person feel as though they aren’t so alone in the world, that they do have someone and the bully is the one who doesn’t deserve anyones friendship, that  doesn’t take anything and by doing it you become a decent and better person in the process


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